Need some time out from work stress? How about stepping out of the surreal world of work piles and deadlines awhile and take a deep breath of laughter in the jokey world of politics? Okay. Get a tall cool glass of iced tea, dim the light in the office, recline fully on the recliner, both feet on the table, and check out these political jokes.
Two guys, John and Peter, bored of work, decide to talk about politics during office hours and each tries to be more in the know than the other. Political smart aleck John starts. He asks, “What’s feudalism all about? “Simple,” says Peter, “raise two hens and Mr. landlord takes some of the eggs.” John nods approval. “How about ‘pure’ socialism?” John asks again. “The government confiscates the hens and puts them in a shelter with all the neighbors’ hens. Then you care for all of them and the government gives you all you need,” replies Peter. “Political” jokes John and Peter seem in agreement.
“Now, your turn,” says Peter to John. “Umm..what’s bureaucratic socialism?” asks Peter. John smiles and says, “Government thinks cow farmers should raise up hens and hen farmers should raise up cows. Then, they all get imprisoned because the cows start crowing and laying eggs and the hens start mooing and giving milk.” Peter’s eyes widen in wonder. “Okay,” he said, “that’s a tolerable answer. How about Fascism?” John quickly answers, “Government takes both your hens, hires you to raise them, and then sells you the eggs.” Unable to contain their hilarity the two political jokes breaks out in laughter and decides to talk about communism.
“And what’s ‘pure’ communism?” asks Peter. “Okay,” John starts, excited, “you have two malnourished hens which you and your thousands of neighbors raise, and then all of you share in the eggs.” Peter thinks of a more specific question. “What’s Russian communism?” John rubs his hands and licks his lips. “You have two hens you’re raising and the government takes all the eggs.” Peter follows with another. “What’s Cambodian communism?” John’s eyes widen and says, “You raise two hens which the government takes and then shoots you on the head.” More laughter from the amused political jokes.
Peter then shoots another question. “What’s a dictatorship?” he asks. “John says, “Government takes your two hens and drafts you in the military to be sitting ducks to the enemy!” Laughter again from both political jokes. “Now, how about American democracy?” Peter asks. John answers, “Government makes other countries raise two hens, gets all the eggs for Americans, and then pats the heads of the good ‘allies’ who raised the eggs.”
Suddenly, the big boss joins the conversation and asks both the office political jokes, “How about explaining to me what surrealism is?” Peter and John look at each other and then John ventures a haphazardly thought of reply. He says, with a quivering voice, “Er, uh, we raise up two monkeys…”
“…and the boss hires the two monkeys and fires you both!” the big boss cuts him short.